Launching a New Conversation: Maternity, Motherhood, and Executive Women

iStock_000014255993XSmallBy Robin Madell (San Francisco)

Though Yahoo’s new CEO Marissa Mayer didn’t ask to be a role model for pregnant executives, she has nonetheless become one. But beyond Mayer, what is the effect of her choices on executive women across the board and in the boardroom?

After all, says Sasha Galbraith, Marissa Mayer isn’t the only senior executive who has tried to tackle a work-life blend. She recalls attending a lecture by a pregnant CEO in tech some 20 years ago. “Mayer is not the first pregnant CEO in tech,” Galbraith says. “There have been others, but they haven’t been as high-powered.”

Some suggest that other female executives can parlay the momentum of the announcement into a teachable moment—for women, corporations, and society. “Mayer’s situation signals to other women that we need to let go of societal expectations around gender roles and questioning women’s abilities to balance a demanding career and a baby, and accept that it can be done in much the same way men do it,” says Jamie Ladge, assistant professor of management and organizational development at Northeastern University’s College of Business.

Talking the Talk

Betsy Myers—who in addition to her role as founding director of the Center for Women and Business at Bentley University is a former COO of the Obama Campaign and a mom—suggests that working mothers and businesses alike can benefit from this opening and take the opportunity to have a crucial conversation. This is because many pregnant women and employers alike have long felt uncomfortable discussing the changes that happen when a woman becomes a mother and must suddenly answer to both her baby and her job.

“This has launched a conversation that we have needed to have for many years,” says Myers. “Women can use this as an opportunity to set a reality check and really consider what they need to be a successful mom and leader.”

Pregnant executives can use the steam generated by using the new Yahoo CEO’s very public plans for her maternity leave to initiate crucial conversations with their own bosses, boards, and employees—as well as their spouses. “Too often, we avoid these conversations and as a result, women are often penalized for expectations that they had no role in setting,” says Myers. “If women feel empowered—but not handicapped—to be honest about this huge change that’s about to happen to them, they can structure their leave from a position of strength.”

Ideally, the discussion would evolve to a place where pregnancy is no longer viewed so much as a challenge, but more as a situation to be considered—“much as something we once considered radical—like using Skype as a tool to communicate with teams, or working remotely (as almost 75 percent of IBM employees now do)—is a norm,” says Myers.

The New Normal

What should women talk about in these new conversations? Graves recommends that women who want to work during their leave take time to carefully negotiate conditions that will allow them to meet both work and family goals. Myers agrees, suggesting that it’s important that women have the flexibility and resources to structure their leave in a way that works for them.

“It’s their choice,” says Myers. “Some women feel better if they are in touch with the office, while some women prefer to disappear into full-time mommyhood during their leave. It’s not a one size fits all situation, but it is crucial that employers work with women to create the leave that is best for their particular situation.”

Many also emphasized that regardless of anyone else’s decisions, women must weigh their own options carefully, since the choices are both individual and personal. “What works for one person is not necessarily the answer for everyone, but there are more viable options than ever,” says Sara Fell, CEO of FlexJobs.

Rachel Smith, employment attorney and partner in the Houston office of a national law firm, echoes that what may work for others—in terms of taking on one of the most demanding roles in business during pregnancy or taking a non-traditional approach to maternity leave—may not work for another working mom or her family. “The key is in knowing and unapologetically owning your own familial priorities, financial considerations, and career aspirations,” says Smith.

Roberta Chinsky Matuson, president of Human Resource Solutions and author of Suddenly In Charge: Managing Up, Managing Down, Succeeding All Around, agrees: “At the end of the day, each woman has to look at her own situation and decide if she is willing to give up time that she will never be able to get back, in order to keep moving her career forward.”