I have a flexible schedule at my work which is wonderful. In my case, a lot of my co-workers, including my boss, work a traditional 9-6 day, so I know if I need any of them, I better get them before they walk out the door at 5 or 6. Otherwise, I have to wait until the next day.

Maybe some guidelines need to be set. You could mention that you work a traditional week and you understand that they have work, children, etc., but if they need your help in any way, they will need to contact you by the given time you tell them. I know that I would personally respond fine to that. It would just take some balancing on their end, but that is really what flex time is all about anyways, right?

Good luck, I hope you find a good middle ground. Have a nice day!

Jennifer

The other piece to it is a sentiment of “What else could you possibly be doing? (Because you don’t have kids.)” or “You just don’t understand. (Because you don’t have children.)” Its frankly kind of derogatory. I’m curious about how to navigate these particularly turbulent waters. Its not just automatically easier for me to shift everything around because what I’m shifting isn’t wearing a diaper, you know? And yet saying that is perceived as whiny. So what’s the protocol? I’m curious about how others handle these kind of situations.

I have questions for you, though. What makes you think it’s inappropriate to say no? Have you tried it? Do you ask the workers whose day starts later if they expect a response that evening or if the next day is okay?

If you need to collaborate, maybe you could schedule a time you’ll both work on the same project during the overlap. There are likely solutions that can be worked out with more communication among those of you who need information from each other.

What if you let everyone know you’ll be available from 9am to 11am everyday and from 7pm to 8pm on M,W,F and the rest of the hours at your discretion? Where exactly do kids come into it? I’d be afraid that I would be considered less professional if I said that I needed to leave by x in order to do so and so with the kids. I think I’d come across better as if I had no family and just said, I’m sorry, that time’s not good for me, how about doing it at this time.

As a disclaimer, I’ve never had to deal with this issue directly, but I’ve read numerous articles about just turning off the cellphone or the computer. Do it for half and hour and see if it all falls apart. Once that succeeds, do it for an hour, and so forth, until you block out the time that you desire. This was advice given in a publication directed at executives.

As a side note, how do others who work mostly mornings deal with it? Are the men more protective of their time than the women? There are overtones in your story that seem to play into the stereotypically female “others time is more important than mine” attitude that I know I fall prey to, even when no request has been made of me.