“I learned the importance of sponsorship along the way,” said Lisa Davis, Director and Global Product Manager at Citi Global Transaction Services. “And I didn’t realize what a sponsor was until I didn’t have one.”

She recalled a year when she didn’t get a promotion she was expecting. “I had the whole package – on paper – but when I asked why I wasn’t promoted, my manager said, ‘well, nobody knows you.’”

Davis was speaking at The Glass Hammer’s recent event for lesbian professionals on “being out at work.” Moderated by Jill Schlesinger, Editor-at-Large of CBSMoneyWatch.com, the panelists included Jennifer Barbetta, Managing Director and Chief Operating Officer, Alternative Investments & Manager Selection, Goldman Sachs; Lisa Davis, Director and Global Product Manager, Citi Global Transaction Services; Lee A. Merkle-Raymond, Strategic Solutions Executive, Bank of America Merrill Lynch; and Marion Regnier, Senior Associate, PwC. They discussed issues like coming out at work, the importance of sponsors and networking, and the value of top-level support for LGBT issues.

Davis, who is co-chair of Citi’s Metro NYC Pride network, said she spent the following year making sure everyone knew who she was.

Sponsorship and Networking

“A sponsor is someone who says, ‘I’m going to vouch for this person,’” Davis explained.

Merkle-Raymond continued, “As a sponsor, you have to put yourself on the line and it comes back to your own credibility.” If the person you vouched for fails, she explained, that makes you look bad too. So, she continued, if you’re seeking a sponsor, make sure you have the skills to follow through on your responsibilities. “It means building up your own credibility so that people want to sponsor you.”

Regnier said she has met sponsors by strengthening relationships with people she has worked with internally and externally. “I’ve found sponsors in different ways – by leveraging the networking relationships that I have outside the firm, and in the firm, leveraging relationships I have with the people I’ve worked with.”

“I’ve never sought out LGBT sponsors specifically,” interjected Barbetta. “But LGBT networking can only be additive to your career development. And as you get more senior, the network of relationships you build become increasingly important. Having those relationships enable me to draw upon the expertise of other people in the firm – to know who to call when a new challenge or opportunity arises.”

Merkle-Raymond agreed. “BAML has a significant number of networks. And, for me, they have been critical if I end up with a problem and need to know how to solve it.”

Davis added, “Affinity networks are absolutely important and key for the business. Especially in the financial services industry.”

Coming Out

Schlesinger asked the panelists to discuss how they came out at work. Regnier began, “For me, it was a decision. At my previous firm, I was in the closet for two years, and I kind of felt like I was lying, or just avoiding the truth. When I joined PwC, they had a great event on National Coming Out Day and I was like, ‘Wow – all of these senior people are out. What am I afraid of?’”

She continued, “Counting people who knew and didn’t know and keeping a list takes a lot of energy.”

Barbetta agreed. “Work is stressful enough. To expend any energy or effort on hiding who you are – at some point for me, it just wasn’t worth it.” She said she gradually came out to colleagues. “When I first joined the firm, I never lied about who I was, but I just sort of withheld information about my personal life. It was a process that took time. I think for me it was about becoming more comfortable with myself, becoming more confident and mature.”

Davis said she never had an actual “coming out” event either. “When we had events, I just thought it would be okay if I showed up with my partner. I never had the notion that I needed to be strategic about it. If people found out, they found out.”

Merkle-Raymond said she had been out since starting her career. She was initially warned against it, but, in fact, being out actually provided her a boost. “I came to orientation with a pink triangle pin on my lapel, and my senior manager said, ‘You’re never going to get promoted if you tell people you’re out.’ And I said, ‘What about the five other guys who are out in our group?’”

She decided to come out at work anyway. And in fact, she continued, working on task force to secure partner benefits at the bank in the ‘90s enabled her to meet senior executives she never would have had access to. “I was even asked to drive our CEO to the airport as a junior person,” she recalled, explaining how she discussed LGBT issues with him in the car.

Working in a Supportive Culture

“Support in the financial services for LGBT is astounding – we have come so far,” said Schlesinger. “A long way since having my bra snapped on the floor of the Commodities Exchange of New York [COMEX],” added the former trader with a laugh.

For an example of meaningful support, Barbetta pointed to the new HRC television ad featuring Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein declaring his support for marriage equality. “It’s fantastic that he’s doing that and putting himself out there on a personal level.”

Barbetta also mentioned the importance of straight allies for building a culture of inclusion. “The Ally Program has had a huge impact. We started inviting straight allies to join the network, and now there are gay members and straight members and you don’t know who’s LGBT or who’s an Ally, which is the entire goal of this – that it shouldn’t matter – no one cares who’s straight or who’s gay.”

She added, “From the diversity office, Lloyd himself, and various other senior members at the Firm, the support has been amazing.”

Anika Khan, Vice President and Economist at Wells Fargo, said one key to advancing your career is cultivating a broad knowledge base – but also developing an expertise in a field you are passionate about.

She explained, “If I was to think of one thing I wish I knew when I was starting out it would be to be an expert in something, but know a little bit about everything.”

“When you begin your career, you’re trying to get a sense of everything. But when I became a subject matter expert my career really gained upward momentum.”

Career in Economics

Khan began her career at legacy First Union and then moved to legacy Wachovia in the late ’90s. “I spent a good part of my career on the deal side,” she said. “I wanted to learn about sales and trading, so I moved to the trading floor.”

Then, she said, “I went back to my love: economics. I’ve been an economist for five years. I made a series of lateral moves, which ended up being wonderful opportunities for me.”

Khan said one of the proudest achievements of her career so far has been being invited to the White House as part of a special delegation on the economy. “I was the only economist to update the President’s economic advisors and staff. It was also a great opportunity for Wells Fargo,” she explained.

She continued, “And I’m even more proud of a paper on state economic activity which we presented at the 2012 American Economics Association Annual Meeting. They have a very high threshold and we got accepted. It’s always a goal for economists.”

Advice for Professional Women

Khan said she’d like to see more women at the top. “Getting women into the C-suite in general is a challenge – we need to have more of a presence there. And specifically for African American women, there just aren’t enough of us.”

She continued, “The next generation of women coming out of school is outpacing males in undergrad and grad school. Many are not choosing banking as a career. One reason is that they are looking for what they perceive as work life balance. This can be a challenge for any individual.”

“I mentor a number of young women who are just as smart as males, but sometimes they don’t actually know it. The advice I always give is to know your worth,” she continued.

When it comes to senior women, she said, “It’s very important at that level to be a sponsor, mentor, advocate, for some of the young women trying to navigate or enter the industry.”

Diversity at Wells Fargo

As a member of Wells Fargo’s Diversity and Engagement Council in her area of the bank, Khan believes that individuals should see diversity as an advantage. “Diversity can be an asset – in many cases, I’ve definitely felt that instead of holding me back, it’s propelled me forward.”

She continued, “At Wells Fargo, diversity is part of our key goals. It’s not only something I value, but the bank values. “

“One of the things we continue to do in this organization is to have a number of diversity initiatives. Through diversity initiatives you get exposure to senior management on a pretty consistent basis though diversity networks and events,” she said.

“You have the mechanisms to get in front of senior managers and for them to see how capable you are outside your area of expertise.”

In Her Personal Time

Khan, who is married and has a nine-year-old son, says she believes in spending quality time with her family when she’s outside work. “I take time so my son knows he’s number one,” she explained.

She also enjoys photography and, she added, “I don’t go a week without doing zumba!”

In many companies, efforts to convince management to dedicate resources toward the advancement and retention of women continue to fall on deaf ears. Decades of effort have gone into conveying the point that women are just as valuable as men – yet a misunderstanding of “value” often causes people to miss the point of gender diversity.

To many people, “equal value” means “sameness.” They think, if men and women are the same, then why should we expend so much effort increasing our numbers of women when they will contribute in the same way as men?

Of course men and women are of equal value, but whether by social conditioning or biological construction, they aren’t the same. Studies show that, in general, women think through problems differently than men, are motivated differently than men, and build relationships differently than men.

Efforts toward gender diversity don’t mean the “feminization” of the corporate space as one recent Forbes contributor so distressingly put it. Gender diversity means that companies have the benefit of a multitude of viewpoints and ways of solving problems and a wealth of critical insight to draw from as they approach 21^st century complexity in a diverse, global marketplace.

But this is the problem that diversity advocates face – a misunderstanding of the value of diversity that leads many to believe that diversity is nothing more than a numbers game designed to annoy people with more important work to do. And this is why Barbara Annis says she developed the concept of Gender Intelligence two decades ago.

“I was really looking at the concept of gender equality, and how to advance and retain women – but that mindset is really a numbers game. I didn’t approach how men change their mindset for equality.”

She continued, “Especially in finance and technology, companies were saying ‘we’ve got one women or we’ve got five women,’ but they weren’t saying ‘we need their perspective.’”

Challenges in Implementing Gender Intelligence

At first glance, Gender Intelligence may seem like a reductive “men are from Mars and women are from Venus” approach, or more likely a “men are left-brained and women are right-brained” standpoint. We all know (and many of us are) left-brained women. This oversimplification of Gender Intelligence to the point of cartoonishness doesn’t do anyone any good, and when it is applied in this manner, can alienate those who feel they don’t fit the norm.

For example, telling a group of female financial analysts or programmers that the reason they are having trouble advancing in their department is because they are right-brained creatives is likely off-base, and hardly helpful.

Nevertheless, Annis pointed to neuroscientific research on the topic as one way to illuminate the value of diversity. “There is a gender norm around how men and women are wired. By remembering this, we remove effort to make women more like men or vice versa.”

It is difficult – and some may argue inappropriate – to connect neuroscientific research to outward behavior, but research does show some physical differences in male and female brains.

But more importantly, Annis explained, the point is to celebrate differences in how men and women work, rather than quash them. “Gender Intelligence is a kind of a new Emotional Intelligence. It’s about how to understand the fundamental differences in how men and women feel valued, and how to understand them in terms of a gender framework.”

One aim of the field is to ensure that people are rewarded for being authentic, rather than conforming to a homogeneous standard. “That’s the mini-me syndrome – assessing people based on things that tend to be a white male model. Many women won’t survive this. Women want to be authentic and be appreciated for the strengths that they bring.” And she added, company management should value those strengths.

“You need a really compelling business case, but I also think that one of the conditions of success that needs to be present is a really authentic desire in senior leadership to bring in gender diversity,” Annis said.

We have all heard it a thousand times: “take the emotion out of it.” We have heard it from our bosses, our friends, and certainly from our financial advisors.

Yet as far as investments go, analysts now give “conviction” ratings along with their buy and sell ratings. What’s with that? If conviction doesn’t imply an emotion – surety or confidence – what does it imply? Think about it: is confidence a feeling or a thought? It is a feeling, right? It may be based on thought, but when it emerges, it is a feeling – something we experience physically, like all feelings.

The fact of the decision-making matter is that no one, no matter what he or she claims, can make any sort of decision without emotion. There is no disputing the research on this matter. A top game theorist and neuroeconomist said, “it is not enough to know what should be done, one must also feel it.”

In Defense of Emotion

The ostensible wisdom of removing emotion arises out of mistaking a feeling for an automatic action. Clearly they aren’t identical psychological events. It is entirely possible to feel something, to analyze it and choose an action after parsing the meaning of the emotion.

In fact, when it comes to optimizing your own psychology around any risk decision – market, job or life – this welcoming of the feelings, versus attempting to set them aside, turns out to be a particularly useful strategy.

With anything uncertain, our brains search for context, and a large share of that context is the pre-existing internal one – better known as our beliefs and emotions. Harry Markowitz, the father of asset allocation, said step one is knowing what you believe. (Again, a feeling of confidence is part of a belief, is it not?) Step two is the allocation. He reiterated many times that his prize-winning paper started with step two!

In practicality, be on the lookout for two ends of the fear spectrum: The fear of being wrong or losing money and the fear of missing out or what really equates to the desire to avoid regret in the future. Pay particular attention to the fear of being wrong – now or in the future – as, first, there will always be some fear and second, beneath the superficial experience you can find a part of your psyche that is fractal, and therefore typically irrelevant to the decision at hand. It is the part where the feelings in your memories get projected on what you anticipate will happen in the future. Freud called it transference, but today the neuroscience of emotion and memory is revealing how the patterns that began early in life are infused into our perceptions in totally unrelated questions later in life.

When our brains search for context, some context is external, but most is internal. Research shows that 95% of what goes on in our heads happens below our awareness level. The trick to making better decisions involves bringing as much of that 95% as possible to the conscious and analyzable level. In fact, you can go a step further, by getting systematic about analyzing the reasons for your emotions in any risk decision and then walking away before making a decision. Give the question back to your unconscious and allow the answer to come to you – even with a stock investment.

Neuroeconomics of Women

As is said in neuroeconomics, “complex decisions are best made non-deliberately,” and the aforementioned itemizes the series of steps for doing that. In fact, with investment decisions, this strategy logically leads to your brain tapping into “theory of mind” or the ability to predict others’ behavior. No one stops to think about it, but this is the purest question of investing – predicting that others are going to value something at a higher price in the future than they value it now.

And again, new research shows that investors or traders who are tapping into their people-reading skills are better at predicting markets.

The science on whether women are technically better at theory of mind than men has not actually been established, but it stands to reason from other things we know about women (their tendency to collaborate for example) that women make a deliberate attempt to solicit others’ perceptions. Thus, one can logically infer that as our unconsciousness’ work on questions, we interject some data about what to expect from others.

The final question then becomes how you tell the difference between feelings that are intuitive – or what is really unconscious pattern recognition – and ones that are impulsive or driven by the fractal patterns of self-perception and expectation created early in life. The easiest way is to look at the urgency. The events or data that make us want to react immediately are probably impulsive. The much more serene feelings of “just knowing” are more likely to be intuitive.  The two can also be merged together, but taking the “emotions as data” and proceeding through the analytics of them untangles that problem.

It takes practice to successfully get the hang of using this qualitative approach to risk decision-making. It isn’t the curriculum of an MBA. It is however, the missing ingredient in effective risk-management – for your own portfolio or for the ones you manage for others.

In a recent Harvard Business Review article, author and managing partner of Schaffer Consulting Ron Ashkenas delves into an important subject: what happens when you get promoted and your relationship with co-workers must change from that of peer to boss?

This is not an unusual scenario. A common refrain is to be good to everyone because you never know who will be your next boss. The issue, Ashkenas points out, is that there’s no guidebook for how to navigate this uncomfortable and incredibly awkward situation.

According to Kim Zilliox, an executive coach with almost 20 years of experience, the bottom line is that once you are promoted, that is your primary responsibility. This does not mean that you can’t remain friends with your reports, but you will need to look at what needs to change when it comes to how you interact with your former peers. How will you ensure you are not making your other reports feel uncomfortable? How will you make sure you remain objective about your previous colleague’s work? There are no easy answers, but excellent communication is critical.

Communication is Key

In Zilliox’s role as vice president of leadership development at Women’s Leadership Coaching, her clients routinely deal with shifting work relationships. Zilliox has blogged about this topic in the past, but recently pointed out that any person interested in moving to positions of greater responsibility will eventually transition from peer to boss and the important thing to remember is that it doesn’t have to be awkward. Whether or not the transition goes smoothly hinges on current relationships, personalities, and most importantly, everyone’s ability to communicate.

“What I find helps most in this situation is for both parties to sit down and talk about how the relationship may look different from this point on,” Zilliox said. “How will communication change? What expectations will now be in place? Logistically, will spending time together- lunch, coffee, et cetera – look differently? Will conversations in public look differently? I recommend looking at a typical day or week to see how touch points have been in the past and then look to see how they might be different in the future. Again, if this can be discussed between the two individuals affected, this creates an optimal outcome.”

The Ego

If the communication between you and your former peers is less than ideal, the only thing that can make the situation worse is if the peers you’re now leading don’t feel you’re fit for the job or have a different view of how the team should be run.

Usually, a promotion is something to be excited about, but when a challenging transition is involved it’s important to tread lightly. Keep in mind that like you, your peers have to negotiate this new landscape, but unlike you, they’re not getting a new title and a raise.

According to the coach, the biggest challenge for most people, especially those younger in their career, is their ego.

“Without strong confidence in oneself, it can be easy to feel jealousy or ill will toward a peer who has been recognized with a promotion. Most professionals learn to let these feelings go and to focus on their own work while working towards the higher good of the organization. Once this is handled, the main challenge would be the change in the working relationship from peer to subordinate, which can take some adjustment,” Zilliox said.

Five Tips for Making it Work

But sometimes conflict is unavoidable. If the peers you’re now leading don’t feel you’re fit for the job, Zilliox recommends the following five tips:

1. Let them have their feelings. The bottom line is that it isn’t their business or their call. You were promoted by your management who trusted you could do a good job. Your former peers have a right to their opinions and part of any transition includes experiencing emotions about the change. As a leader, by allowing them to process the concerns, challenges, and questions about the transition, you will help them move past their initial reaction, creating a better chance for a renewed outlook. Be sure to connect with each and every team member early to learn about them, their strengths, their goals, and to express to them how committed you are to their success and to the success of the team.
2. Create small wins for the team. Once the team has processed their feelings and you have authentically shared your commitment to them, it is time to focus on turning their attitudes around and the easiest way is to quickly create small wins for your team. How can you make them look good? How can the team succeed? By shifting the focus away from you and your management style, this will help get the team back on track and moving forward.
3. Check in with hold-outs. If you have some individuals who can’t seem to get on board you’re your new role, check in with them to see what is going on. What do they miss about the past? Can they either give up their opinions or suspend them for a bit to see if it will all work out? Be clear about why you were given this new role. Sometimes communicating your goals and qualifications more clearly can help alter their perceptions. Essentially, you are putting on your coaching hat to help them realize that being right isn’t paying off as much as doing the right thing will.
4. Weed out bad seeds. At this point, if there are still folks on the team who cannot get on board, it is best that they find a team and a leader they can fully support. It is a choice they are making, and if they just can’t, then it won’t serve anyone if they stay. See what other parts of the organization would be a good fit and help them move, while looking for the right fit for your team at the same time.
5. Be confident. You were hired for a reason and just because it is different than what others expected, it doesn’t mean it isn’t best for the organization. While any good leader is consistently learning and growing, having a sense of confidence in who you are and what you bring to the table is a key foundation.

By remembering your position of authority while also working with team members to create a path forward, you can attempt to build consensus around your own leadership.

“Be proud of your accomplishments,” advised Lisa Sawicki, an assurance partner in PwC’s Charlotte office, and national diversity leader of the firm’s assurance practice.

“I still think we have a dynamic, even among successful women, to be less forthcoming with their accomplishments. Be confident and willing to talk about them!”

Career Path

Sawicki has been with PwC for her entire career – since she joined the firm’s New York office in 1989, straight out of college. Four years later, she transferred to the Dallas office, where she spent the next fourteen years, becoming partner in 2003.

“I think what’s interesting is that I had a flexible work arrangement from 1996 to 2003, and still made partner. A lot of women are concerned with how to balance everything,” she said.

She continued, “What I wish I had known when I started my career is that there is no one right path to take. There are many paths to success in this firm. You have to be flexible, you have to be agile, and you have to take advantage of opportunities as they arise.”

In 2006, Sawicki transferred to PwC’s Charlotte office, working in the firm’s assurance line of service, specializing in the financial services industry. She is currently the market team leader for the financial services practice for the Carolinas.

“This is an interesting and challenging time in banking and the capital markets,” she said. “There’s an unprecedented pace of regulatory activity with fairly pervasive impacts to client activities. It presents challenges and opportunities.”

Sawicki is a member of the assurance national leadership team, and she recently was named the assurance practice diversity leader.

“It’s very different from what I do on a day-to-day basis. Diversity is a topic I’ve always been personally passionate about. And now, going from a local role to the national level is really exciting. I’m working on more strategic things for the firm overall, as opposed to the direct client service I do on a daily basis.”

Advice for Professional Women

As for women new to the workforce, Sawicki advised, “Take advantage of every opportunity that you get, and learn everything possible with the opportunities that you are given.”

She added, “Public accounting can be a phenomenal career, and it’s also a phenomenal place to launch a career. There is a myriad of things you can do going forward.”

She feels that PwC works hard to accommodate the needs of its female workforce. “I honestly believe that the only barrier to being successful in this firm is women themselves. We have every structural support for women to be successful here,” she said. “Nevertheless, the reality is that the client service business can be demanding at times. We have all sorts of programs to be successful – but it doesn’t mean they make it easy.”

She explained, “Flex enabled me to be successful, but it was still challenging to balance my career and feel like I was operating at the highest level at work and at home. You have to set your priorities.”

She praised the firm’s flexible programs, explaining that even the programs themselves are flexible. “They’re not one-size-fits-all. They’re geared toward being adapted to particular circumstances and needs. For example, I used a flexible work arrangement, but there’s no one type of flexible work arrangement. They’re tailored to an individual’s needs and work obligations.”

“It was invaluable to me,” she continued. “Flex enabled me to meet my home and client needs. For others, a reduced time schedule might be better, or a condensed work week, or the ability to work from home.”

In Her Personal Time

“I have a husband and two boys, thirteen and fifteen,” she said. “They’re both very active in sports, so my main hobby is sitting on the sidelines and watching them play. I’m very passionate about that!”

Having recently visited South Africa, she added, “I also absolutely love to travel – any chance I get.”

According to a new study produced by The Girl Scouts of the USA, four out of ten girls say they have had no opportunities to interact with successful women during the last school year. That could be why so many of them (38%) said they weren’t sure if they were cut out to be a leader.

The study, conducted by Roper Research, polled 1,000 girls between the ages of eight and seventeen. Anna Maria Chávez, CEO of Girl Scouts of the USA believes “ToGetHerThere: Girls’ Insights on Leadership” shows that role models must be made more visible to girls everywhere, so that they see themselves as leaders.

“It is abundantly clear that our girls have a vision of their leadership potential that is incompatible with what we know they can achieve,” she said.

Teaching Leadership

The report notes that 81% of girls believed that workplaces could do a better job of supporting women, and 67% believe that family responsibilities impact women more than men.

The study also revealed that 65% of girls feel that women have an equal chance as men to attain positions of leadership – like becoming President of the USA or head of a major corporation. But, as Connie Lindsey, National President, Girl Scouts of the USA, explained, most girls don’t feel they have the right skills to be leaders themselves.

“Our Girl Scout Research Institute found that while the majority of girls think anyone can acquire the skills of leadership, only 21% believe they currently have most of the key qualities required to be a good leader. This may cause girls to opt out.”

She added, “Negative influences such as stress, fear of speaking in front of others, appearing bossy, and peer pressure may cause girls to simply disengage from assuming leadership roles. We need to change that, and ToGetHerThere is a bold step in the right direction.”

ToGetHerThere is the organization’s newly-launched global fundraising campaign with a goal of $1 billion, in order to teach girls skills in finance, science, technology, environmental, and global leadership in the US and 94 countries around the world.

Being Bossy

The study mentioned a statistic that will ring true for many professional women. According to the study, nearly 40% of girls said they have been laughed at or put down for “being bossy” when they try to lead. This is a reminder of the reality that many women face in the workforce – walking the fine line between being liked and being a leader.

Recently Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg spoke at the World Economic Forum’s Annual Conference at Davos, Switzerland, about the shortage of female leaders. Sandberg was speaking on a panel entitled, “Women as the Way Forward.”

Sandberg said this kind of name calling was something she herself had faced. Bloomberg Businessweek reported:

“Little girls are called bossy,” she told the audience on Jan. 27. “Anyone at Davos who as a girl was called bossy? If you got to Davos you were that. I was,” she said, raising her hand. “Success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women.”

Sandberg echoed the double bind that has been described by Northwestern University professor Alice Eagly:

“Masculine qualities are seen as more crucial to leadership, so women are thought to be less qualified than men. We call this the double bind because when women have these ‘masculine’ characteristics and behave in ways that are competitive and ambitious, it’s not seen as a good thing,” Eagly said.

“This is because women are thought of as ‘nice’; they must be nice even when they become leaders, which leads people to question whether or not they’re cut out for the role. If they’re not nice; however, people wonder what’s wrong with them. Men don’t have this problem because they’re never expected to be nice.”

The research shows that girls begin dealing with this double bind at a very early age. But by meeting and spending time with female role models who have risen above this paradox, girls can learn to see themselves as leaders, rather than stepping aside.

One day while at work, you receive an anonymous note under your door informing you that one of your firm’s sales managers is rumored to be frequently intoxicated while at work. Not just any sales manager, however, but one who’s known as being a real “rainmaker” and a favorite among senior management.

If that’s not bad enough, he’s also carrying on an affair with a woman in the sales department and is becoming known for yelling and cursing at colleagues while intoxicated. If this sounds like the plot of a very dark comedy, think again. Theresa Jones (not her real name), the head of HR for a regional office of a large international consulting firm, said she had to navigate her way through this very scenario. And according to a recently-released survey, this type of workplace behavior may be more common than you think.

The study revealed that of the 500 London-based mid-mangers surveyed, one in 10 admits to taking illegal drugs at work and work-related social events. It was also discovered that more than 29 percent have witnessed colleagues taking drugs, with class A drugs (those treated by the law as the most dangerous) being the most widely-used. For London-based professionals, the most popular drug seems to be cocaine, with 40 percent of workplace drug users admitting to using the stimulant at work.

While addiction may be the cause of this bad behavior, other factors also come into play. Apparently, peer pressure is prevalent outside of high school, as this reason was cited as the most common for taking illicit substances at work. Nearly 21 percent surveyed said they partook “because everybody else is taking them.” Perhaps more shocking, one in five said they participated in illicit behavior because their boss did and they thought participating would make them more apt for a promotion.

Participating in this type of bad behavior could suggest bigger problems, like alcoholism or drug addiction (five percent surveyed blamed addiction) for your colleague. But what are you supposed to do if you suspect a colleague is using at work or engaging in other harmful, illicit behaviors?

A Risky Approach

Obviously, unethical behavior in the workplace is a very touchy subject. Not only can it be difficult to approach a colleague about this situation, but those who do must proceed as delicately as possible. Even under the best circumstances, it’s not out of the question that the colleague may try to retaliate.

Jones, whose story was mentioned earlier, was concerned about the firm’s liability as a result of the alleged behavior of the company’s sales manager. Initially, she kept the note to herself, began a file, and tried to get as close to the manager as she could by becoming more familiar with the sales team. There was one problem, however: much of his work was done out of the office, making it nearly impossible for her to uncover any direct evidence of the drinking or the alleged affair.

Jones believed the next best move was to befriend those in the sales group, which is exactly what she did. She zeroed in on two people in particular, hanging out with them outside of work and going to lunch with them regularly. Soon enough she began dropping hints that she knew what was going on with the sales manager and the two employees felt comfortable enough with her to admit what they had seen, but didn’t want to go on the record out of fear of retaliation.

She was eventually able to gather enough information to approach the firm’s in-house counsel and consult with the COO. Together they decided to approach the sales manager and bluff him, misleading him on the amount of evidence they had and providing him with the opportunity to resign within six months, which would include a severance package and assistance fining new employment. If he refused, they threatened a full and thorough investigation and terminating him with no package. The sales manager stepped down quietly.

Addressing the Issue

Her approach was a risky one; the sales manager could have denied the allegations and sued for wrongful termination, resulting in a long, expensive, and not to mention awkward legal battle. If you suspect a colleague is participating in illicit activity that could damage your company, but you’d like more of a game plan, Desiree Moore has what appears to be a foolproof plan for navigating these waters.

Moore launched Greenhorn Legal LLC in 2011 with the intention of working with law firms and law schools to provide intensive training for new lawyers as they transition from law school into a real world practice. According to Moore, new lawyers can lack core competency practitioner skills – including professionalism and ethics skills, which impedes their ability to contribute to their law firms meaningfully.

“In a law firm environment, conduct is generally self-regulated, so from time to time people try to bend the rules,” Moore said. “As a junior attorney, it is incredibly difficult to try to generate the confidence to confront a colleague who you believe is behaving inappropriately or unethically. For this reason, part of the training program I developed for young lawyers address this precise issue.”

A lawyer’s conduct is largely governed by specific, pre-determined ethical rules administered by the American Bar Association (ABA). The rules address the responsibilities of lawyers in the face of harmful, illicit, or inappropriate behavior. Essentially, lawyers have a responsibility to behave ethically and ensure that others are doing so as well.

In Moore’s Greenhorn Legal programming, the Adjunct Professor at Loyola University Chicago School of Law invokes real world scenarios to take an in-depth look at the rules from the perspective of new lawyers while also covering a lawyer’s obligations to report misconduct. The ABA model rules state that when “another lawyer has committed a violation of the Rules of Professional Conduct that raises a substantial question as to the lawyer’s honesty, trustworthiness, or fitness as a lawyer in other respects,” the lawyer is required to inform the appropriate professional authority.

The Rubrics

Moore developed her own rubrics for adhering to professional standards of the practice, including obligations to report the misconduct of others, but her guidelines go beyond the law profession, providing an excellent resource for anyone who finds herself in the uncomfortable situation of having to decide whether or not to call a colleague out on their bad behavior.

“It is terrifying to report the misconduct of others and this can result in not reporting the misconduct at all,” Moore said. “We have all heard stories about retaliatory firings and hostile work environments and because of this, we may be concerned about jeopardizing our own jobs in the name of reporting misconduct. It is often easier to do nothing than to become embroiled in something that will potentially impact our own well-being.”

If you are motivated enough to move forward with your suspicions, Moore recommends that the first thing to keep in mind is adhering to the hierarchy. Meaning, if someone is in a better position to report the misconduct, do not circumvent his or her authority.

“If someone else who is better positioned to address the situation, do not circumvent or go around this person. Let the person closest to the situation decide if the conduct at issue is in fact improper or unethical,” Moore said.

If a higher-up isn’t closer to the situation, before anything else, you have to gather all of the facts. Moore recommends keeping a detailed record of the facts and be “110 percent certain” of the situation and be positive there is no misunderstanding before you move forward. It’s also a good idea to seek guidance from a trusted mentor or advisor, but it is absolutely necessary that you don’t proceed in a way that can be considered gossiping or rumor spreading about the situation. Moore says your own professionalism will depend on the level of discretion and care you apply to the situation. Discussing the situation with your mentor or advisor will help you determine whether you’re sure that you’ve identified a real issue. No accusation can stand on instinct, feeling, misinformation, or general suspicion alone, Moore says.

According to Moore’s rubrics, the next step is to evaluate the significance of the conduct. If in your fact gathering process you learn that the conduct is self-contained, meaning it does not impact you, the firm, or firm clients in any way- even if it is out of line with your personal values- it is likely not your responsibility to confront the situation.

“Even if we do not agree with certain conduct of our colleagues, there is an element of live and let live in any corporate environment and adhering to this will save you a lot of strife in the end,” Moore said. “Anytime you are reporting misconduct, even if wholly warranted, you are involving yourself in what may be a long, drawn out, emotionally trying process. Evaluating up front the significance of the conduct and whether it is actually a violation of any ethical rules is a critical step.”

The final step, of course, is deciding on the best avenue for reporting the conduct. Depending on the circumstances, it might be best to speak directly with the person involved in the improper conduct, but only if a relationship with the person has already been established and you have a firm understanding of how the person might react. If this is not an option, the next best approach is reporting the misconduct to an authority, such as your boss or an HR director.

“You have to be prepared to support any accusations with specific facts. You also have to be prepared to see it through to the end,” Moore said. “Once you report, you will be an integral part of the investigation that takes place, whether formal or informal.”

“As a woman in a challenging industry, making principal is something I’m extremely proud of. But working on a flex schedule while I did it is even more of an achievement for me,” said Rosalie Mandel, Principal of the alternative investments accounting firm Rothstein Kass’s New Jersey office. Mandel is an exuberant supporter of women in accounting, she believes that firms can be more successful when they fully support the work/life needs of their employees. That means supporting talented women with flexible schedules that make sense for their individual lives.

She said, “I really don’t believe in work/life balance – I believe in integration. How do you define success? That’s your balance.”

Career in Accounting

Having been with the Rothstein Kass for twenty years, Mandel was the first woman at the firm to negotiate a flex schedule – and the first one to become principal of an office while working a shortened work week.

“I was the first woman promoted to principal at Rothstein Kass while on a flexible schedule. Since that time, both women and men at our firm have taken advantage of this program to pursue a wide range of interests, from starting a family to charitable endeavors. It just demonstrates that the firm really supports work / life integration.”

Mandel studied accounting at Farleigh Dickenson University in New Jersey. “I loved accounting because I loved numbers and I loved the way everything fit,” she recalled. But her real enthusiasm for the industry comes from working with people. Mandel said that her generation of accountants was the first to have equal numbers of men and women graduating college and entering the field. She’s enjoyed being an active part of changes to the industry over the years.

For instance, when she started as an accountant, women were only allowed to wear skirt suits – navy blue, she recalled. “One day there was a snowstorm, and I showed up in pants. It was a practical decision that got the organization to reconsider our existing policy. Within weeks, everyone was wearing pants to the office. In reality, that’s how change is often initiated.”

She was also the first at her firm to negotiate for a significant amount of time off for maternity leave. “When I had my first child, I was out for six months – right during tax season. There was no such thing as maternity leave then, but the firm didn’t flinch. When I contacted our Managing Principals they basically said, ‘Tell me what you want.’ I told them I wanted to work three days a week, and they said ‘go do it.’ They understood the organizational benefits right away.” she recalled. Then, almost as soon as she returned to the firm, she was pregnant again – and was able to take another six months off.

“Because leadership ranks have predominantly been populated by men, industry policies, procedures, and systems have historically been built by men. Most firms have taken tangible steps to change that. Our firm had the vision to see the benefits of flexible scheduling – and it’s never said no. We’ve had an official flex policy since 1999.”

“I’ve learned along the way that sometimes, it’s just a matter of speaking up,” Mandel explained. “You have a voice. Use it!”

By speaking up, she said, female professionals are paving the way for the next generation of leaders – and ensuring that they stick around. She almost left the industry as a young accountant herself. “When I started in accounting, there was only one female role model at the top. And when you look up and there’s not really anyone who looks like you, you can’t see yourself there. You deselect yourself for leadership.”

She continued, “Hard work is not always enough. I was also fortunate to have great mentors who guided me toward success.”

Mandel started the firm’s women’s initiative as a way to keep young women on track to leadership within the firm. “You start to see differences at a certain point in your career. Right when you go into the manager level – that’s when you see the numbers shift in accounting.”

“I founded our women’s initiative LIFE (Leadership, Inspiration, Family, Empowerment) in 2007. I feel like I’m making a difference – I’d like to leave a legacy. I want women to know that you have the full power to make it – don’t deselect yourself. You can do it. And there are role models who want to help you and guide you along the way.”

The Importance of Mentoring

Mandel started the firm’s LIFE program about five years ago. “And at first there was only one member. Formally, there are now fifty committee members, but nearly all employees participate in the program,” she said. “We have a steering committee with high level individuals, our managing partner, and then in each office we have a committee to handle the grassroots regional needs.”

“I’m really proud of it. We’re cultivating the leadership coming up, and I want women to stay. It’s about leadership.”

She continued, “When I first started I thought it was just all about accounting – that it was just about numbers. Another piece is leadership and generating business. I didn’t even think about that at the time.”

Mandel said one of the group’s main platforms is mentoring, and providing advice and guidance to talented women. “We started internally with women, and then we said ‘let’s go outside.’”

The firm partners with the Garden State Women’s Foundation to mentor female rising stars in inner city schools and provide scholarships. “We brought the girls into the firm and they shadowed us to learn about the corporate environment.”

She added, “The girls really shocked me – they were so self-aware! So poised and ready for life. I felt like a proud mother – there’s nothing better than helping others.”

Similarly, the firm is also performing research to delve into the lack of women in the larger professional environment. “At Rothstein Kass, a big part of our business is the financial services and alternative investments arena. And there just aren’t that many women in the industry. We do a survey every year on the industry, and we realized that hardly any of the respondents were women. But we know there are women in the industry. So we came up with a survey specifically for women.”

She continued, “Out of that survey, we saw that networking, mentoring, and developing those key relationships is really important to building your career.”

“Much of the informal networking and mentoring that men do occurs organically through shared interests. For example, a group of men might be talking about football when the conversation turns to business opportunities. Just by being a part of the conversation, these men often have an edge when it comes to hiring or business origination decisions. Women need to do more of this sort of networking to create an equal playing field.”

Advice for Women

Mandel added, “It all goes back to that basic question – ‘what does a leader look like?’ We have to raise awareness of how it looks different for women than for men.”

She said, “Women often like to put their head down and work and men think about leadership much earlier in their careers. We need to think about leadership much earlier.”

“Don’t deselect yourself,” Mandel advised young women beginning their careers. “You have to realize that you have the full potential to make it.”

She also advised young women to find a job they are passionate about. “That’s when you’re really going to succeed,” she said. “And always persevere. If things happen along the way, you get through it and become a better person because of it.”

She noted the importance of learning to delegate – both at work and personally. “Don’t try to do everything yourself. You’ve got to have a support system.”

For more senior women, she continued, “What’s really important is to mentor those coming up behind us. We have the experience, and we know what it’s like out there. It’s upon us to turn around and take those women and pull them along.”

For women interested in forming their own women’s initiatives, she advised, “You’ve got to have that rate of return.” Building a program that brings in business or saves money helps build value for the firm, for your career, and for the initiative itself. Mandel explained, “Obviously it’s changed out there – and everyone wants to help out. Because when you have a successful firm, that means you’re successful.”

In Her Personal Time

Outside the office, Mandel, who has two children, who recently participated in a triathlon. She enjoys working out and dancing. “I teach my daughter’s dance class, and coach her softball team, and I play golf,” she said. “I also have a great husband – he’s very supportive of me.”

She also is involved in charities related to Alzheimer’s disease, breast cancer, and juvenile diabetes.

More and more corporate boards are seeking to diversify their ranks. Yet, in the US only 15.7% of board seats are held by women. The data published by Catalyst, shows companies with three or more women board directors in four of five years outperformed companies with zero women board directors ― by 84% return on sales, 60% return on invested capital, and 46% return on equity.

And corporate boards are one of the best part-time jobs around. Median pay in 2010 was $212,500, up a projected +10% in 2011. That is a pretty good hourly salary for an average of 4.3 hours of work per week according to a survey by NACD.  In addition to a great salary, 96% of board members according to a survey by WCD [PDF] are satisfied with their job. Great salary. Short hours. Great job satisfaction. Does this sound like a job you would like to have?

Here’s the challenge. Many women don’t understand the steps to take early in their careers to best position and prepare themselves to get on boards and miss the boat. Another challenge according to a Heidrick & Struggles 2011 Survey done with the Women Corp Directors group, is that it takes women 6 months longer than men (an average of 2.3 yrs vs. 1.7 yrs) to get on a Board. According to the research [PDF], women feel that the primary reasons why there are fewer women on boards is because of the closed networks that decide who gets on what boards. Men on the other hand believe that fewer women on boards is attributable to the fact that there are fewer women in executive roles to choose from.

Here are 5 practical steps to take to increase your chances of getting on a public company board.

1. Excel at What You Do. Get great experience where you are in your corporate career. Ensure that you have business and financial decision-making experience. Getting P&L responsibility is critical. Boards also look for people who have strong emotional intelligence and can work well with others. According to Mary Madden, Executive Director of WCD and NACD in Atlanta, if you happen to be in a Senior Executive position in a corporation, make sure you understand what restrictions may exist related to you being on a corporate board. On the positive side, it is a huge advantage to have your company’s CEO support your candidacy within his or her networks (see point #4 below).

2. Develop A Clear Articulation of Your Brand/Value Proposition. Start with getting clarity on why you would like to be on a corporate board and what kind of corporate board you want to be on. What is your unique value proposition or personal brand for a prospective board? Why should a board hire you? What unique skill sets and strengths, experiences do you bring? Create a Board resume that highlights your experiences, strengths and skill sets.

3. Get some Non-Profit Board Experience. According to Carol Tomei, CFO of the Home Depot, who sits on the Boards of UPS and the Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta, non-profit boards are an excellent way to start getting Board experience. Make sure that these boards are not rubber-stamp boards but have tough issues to address, where you will learn board governance. If you’re in a large organization, connect with the community relations person and get their advice on a good non-profit board to be on. Make sure you are passionate about the cause, as it requires discretionary time for which you are not getting paid. According to Donna James, CEO of Lardon Associates, being on the board of a powerful non-profit is what gave her exposure to the people and relationships that would eventually result in getting her on the board of the Limited Brands. She also sits on the Boards of Time Warner Cable and Coca Cola Enterprises.

Another option to get experience is to start with smaller company or start-up boards. They often do not pay or pay a whole lot less but you get a feel for the issues and learn to have a voice at the table, learning the difference between being a leader running a company and being on the board of one.

Once on a board, make sure you contribute. According to Martha Brooks who is on the boards of Harley Davidson and Bombardier, your contributions will get noticed and will allow you to be known for other possible Board opportunities.

4. Build a Powerful Network of Relationships. Relationships count. Who to build relationships with? People who are on boards themselves. Connect with recruiters who do Board searches.  Make sure you have your Board pitch and resume ready as you connect with people. You can join organizations such as the NACD to connect with others who are already on boards.

5. Get Educated/Trained on Governance Issues. Some of the major universities have Directors’ colleges. The NACD has chapters and programs across the US some of which are open to non-Directors. The WCD also has programs that are available.

I hope this has been thought-provoking for you to create an action plan for yourself. I welcome connecting with you to help you create a powerful action plan to get on a corporate board.

Henna Inam is a CEO Coach focused helping women become transformational leaders. A Wharton MBA, and former C-Suite executive with Novartis and P&G, her passion is to engage, empower, and energize women leaders to transform themselves and their businesses. Sign up for her blog at www.transformleaders.tv.